Dicey decisions with hpv

Having sex with HPV

First off, having HPV doesn't mean you're a bad person. You can contract HPV from just shaking the hands of someone with exposed warts on their fingers.

Furthermore, HPV is incredibly common and many people continue having sex without knowing they have HPV or have transmitted HPV. 

In fact, HPV is so prevalent that it makes more sense to assume anyone you're having sex with has HPV. 

In most cases, doctors don't even test for HPV unless you're above 30 years old. When you're in your teens and 20's, your body is likely to clear HPV on its own. 

Finally, there is no way to test HPV in males. The only way to identify HPV in males is via the examination of warts. 

Preventing the transmission of HPV 

Depending on your own special set of circumstances, having sex with HPV may not change your sex life significantly. 

Or, it might make sense to tell your current or previous partners about the HPV infection and decide collectively from there. For example, you may want to give them the opportunity to get vaccinated if they aren't already. Or, if you have genital warts associated with HPV, that gives them a chance to decide if they want to hold off or have sex anyway. 

(Learn about warts and their treatment here)

If you do decide to have sex, condoms and dental dams can reduce the risk of transmission, however these have limited efficacy as there are areas of skin that are not completely covered. Contraceptive tools can also shift during the course of sex. 

If you are in a monogamous relationship, you can near guarantee that your partner has the same HPV strain as you if they're not already vaccinated. In this case, it definitely makes sense to have a conversation about it so they can be informed about their own health. You can continue sex as normal however both of you should get tested and receive the vaccine to prevent reinfection. 

There is no official guidance on how to have this very difficult conversation. However it helps to do your research and come prepared with medical literature to assuage any fears. Also be prepared to provide emotional support to your partner as learning about a potential STD is an always scary conversation. 

Finally, the only 100% effective way to prevent transmission of HPV is to avoid skin-to-skin contact. This is NOT a best practice or a recommendation, however I would be remiss to leave out this option. 

Resources:

https://www.self.com/story/hpv-and-sex